Look, Mummy, no hands

Remember the fair, Ma

The two of us there, Ma

By the merry-go-round?

I stood there entranced

As the bright horses danced

To a magical sound;

Just a dollar for pleasure untold:

And I rode in a whirl of scarlet and gold;

Look, Mummy, no hands;

I'm riding the roundabout all by myself;

Look, Mummy, no hands;

I called as I passed her,

Faster and faster;

"Hold on tight, darling!" she called out in fear;

But I laughed and pretended that I couldn't hear;

How careless we are when we're young.....

Remember the years

Of the sulks and the tears?

Do you recall?

I hated you when

You said "Be back by ten,"

I knew it all;

Always asking to know what I'd done;

When as far as I knew, I was just having fun;

Look, Mummy, no hands;

I know how to take good care of myself;

Look, Mummy, no hands;

Please don't be a bore,

'Cause I know the score;

She tried to warn me, but I wouldn't heed her;

I was grown up, I didn't need her;

How careless we are when we're young.....

Remember the daughter 

And all that you taught her?

She's grown up at last;

With a child of her own 

She struggles alone

As the years all rush past;

But now you're not there to answer her calls;

You're not there to catch her as she stumbles 

and falls;

Look, Mummy, no hands;

I'm having to do it all by myself;

Look, Mummy, no hands;

I used to dismiss you,

Now I just miss you;

As my child grows away from me, I feel my

heart sinking;

Then I look back and smile, and I find 

myself thinking

How careless we are when we're young.....

For Grandfathers

a poem by Rich Pauloo

in the forest

tangle

a circle of young trees

sprouts

from some

empty

origin

it is because

once

long ago

an old and

dying

tree

sensed his mortality

like a loving grandfather

and called

his children

to draw near

in a circle about him

to send shoots into the sky

to carry on the parade of Life

to exalt the wind and minerals

to expand

to inhale

the aroma

of the world

at his

last
gasp 

of air
did he pause
to think

how life
does stretch

such lengths

at death

to continue
breathing?

Mendocino, CA

Summer 2012
photo courtesy of Mark from: http://marks-talesfromthetrails.blogspot.com/

Glenn Gould Playing the Goldberg Variations

Just perfect!!!



Again, just perfect. 47 minutes long and worth it.

The Solution is Love

"The solution is never at the level of the problem. The solution is always love, which is beyond all problems."

- Deepak Chopra

FRIENDSHIP

I have been friends with Americ for over 30 years. We have shared many adventures together, and oftentimes it seemed almost coincidence that he was there at the start of a new direction in my life.

I would like to share one such story that happened  many years ago when I first started in audio. I was sitting underneath a huge cypress tree at Lake Merritt in Oakland. It was a beautiful spring day, and I was resting my head on a laptop, my wife sitting serenely beside me, as my three young children romped in the park, running and jumping like little kids do. I had my eyes closed, when suddenly the thought of AUDIO came into my mind. It literally was a spark in the mind's eye. Yes, I said to myself, I would try audio and do voice over to see if conveying ideas through sound would help people understand this world a little better. I opened my eyes and Americ was standing over me looking down at me. I told him my idea and we shared the moment of inspiration together. I went on to do audio and voice, and  they became an integral part of my business effort in Internet Communications and Broadcasting.


If I could tell people how many times in my life that has happened with Americ, that is, being there at the exact moment of creation, they would laugh and say that such occurrences were not probable. Yes, they are improbable, but they are also possible, because they, in fact, happened to me. 


As a result, I was thinking about friendship and what it means, when I came across this short poem in my readings that I would like to share with you.

The young mendicant had been meditating deeply. Suddenly he awoke with a profound thought. He turned to the Buddha and exclaimed: 

"Lord, I've been thinking- spiritual friendship is at least half of the spiritual life!"

The Buddha replied, “This is not so, young priest. Spiritual friendship is the whole of spiritual life!" 

Fading Fabric

Stress which turns into panic; it's a feeling which happens all too often. Then productivity goes downhill because of the stress of panic. Then, you panic. Its like a washing machine, without anything coming out clean. There are so many ways to stress. There are amounts: large loads, medium loads, small loads. And spin cycles: regular, delicate; even what we believe to be permanent press. Yet, none of these settings apply to the mind. You can try to spin slowly on a small load of thoughts or try to get the wrinkles out with permanent press, but your still spinning no matter which setting you choose. Our thoughts are like clothes, you wear them, then discard them, only to put on a new pair. Let's not wash our clothes today. Let's not wear our clothes today. Be naked.

What comes first: emotion or emoting?

I Can Speak Whale

There are times when it feels as if the world falls apart. There is so much chaos and turmoil shaking our support system that if feels like an earthquake. Even the activities and friends which we leaned on for support seem not to provide the anchor which we feel is needed to stop the ground from shattering. So, we free fall. That can be disconcerting; falling without knowing what will happen or where we will land. In one of my favorite movies, Finding Nemo, the two main protagonists, Marlin and Dory, have been eaten by a whale. As Marlin tries to find a way to escape, they begin to be sucked into the back of the whales throat. Dory doesn't know why, she just knows that it is occurring and doesn't fight the current. Marlin on the other hand panics, trying to swim away from the water which is rapidly emptying from the whale's mouth to the back of its throat. Finally, they begin to fall into the darkness. Marlin grabs onto the whales tongue and grabs onto Dory's hand. He is terrified of what will happen if he falls into the darkness. Dory then says to Marlin, "It's time to let go now." To which Marlin responds, "How do you know? How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?" Her reply is pure truth, " I dont!" We don't know what's waiting for us at the bottom. But sometimes, we just have to trust; to fall and know that for good or for bad, we will land on our feet.

"Skate in the Direction the Puck is Going"

    Wayne Gretzky

 

Freeze Frame

Pictures tell stories. Yet, pictures only seem to illustrate the good events in our lives; the bad is left to our memory. When we look at a picture book or a journal, it reminds us of our mind set and the details we seem to have forgotten. Neither can remind us of the exact emotions which occurred though. You can remember feeling deep despair but it can only be compared to something else which evokes the same emotion. When we look back at the past or try to look forward in our minds, they are like pictures which have not been fully developed. What happened after the picture was taken? Do you remember your little sister making a silly face which didn't make the final cut? Those are picturesque moments too. You don't need a camera to capture life in its fullest.

LOVER SIT STILL AND WAIT

Lover sit still and wait;
Whom thou desirest will come.
Being alone is not lonely
And how wilt thou receive Truth
If thou are not alone?
Waiting is for preparing,
Watching with longing is sweet;
And when the Self is seen,
This will end,
And thou thyself will be lost in Love...

PICK A SPOT, ANY SPOT

Pick a spot, any spot

SAYINGS FROM THE ANCIENT MASTERS

THE FOLLOWER OF TAO

Wei-shan Ling-yu

Like the clear stillness of autumn water

Pure and without activity

In its tranquil depths are no obstructions.

Such a one is called a follower of Tao

A soul that has nothing more to accomplish

譬如秋水澄渟清浄無爲澹泞無礙。喚他作道人亦名無事人。

溈山靈祐

GUEST POET

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

By Dejan Ristic

The road I did not take

Is far from the blue sea,

It is far from Shakespeare’s dilemma

To be or not to be.

I am proud of my being blind,

I have not said it twice or thrice,

My blindness is my road to the Heaven,

The road similar to Milton’s Paradise!

The road I did not take

Goes neither to the South nor to the North pole,

The road not taken is far from my friends,

My professors and dictations from Adrian Mole.

I am an earthly creature

Aware of mistakes that I make,

But, I will not be mistaken if I refuse,

The road far from books, the road far from The namesake!

Although my life is hard on me,

My road is as bright as the sun,

And on that road, please listen to me,

I will do as I have always done.

I will be as sweet as an apple,

I will sing and read and write,

I will never take the road

Full of misery, woe and fight.

This message to you is to take your own roads,

And everything will be all right,

Leave behind all the things,

Leading to antagonism, idleness and blight!

Never forget to say your prayers,

Never forget to act in your play,

Please, do  take the roads belonging to you,

That will help you to find your own way. 

A Note About the Poet:

One of the sites that I produce is ThoughtAudio.com. It is a site of classic literature in MP3 format and has over 2 million hits a month for the last 10 years. It is a global audience, and as you can imagine I receive  interesting inputs of all forms from all points in the globe. I received this poem from Dejan Ristic at the same time I was working on the details for my input into this wonderful blog. We decided to produce Dejan's poem. One of the most compelling aspects of the poem is the fact that he is blind. I will send an email to Dejan for a more in-depth bio, but until then I believe that listening to his poem in this context will provide even greater appreciation for the work. 

BELL

The sound of the bell in the morning tolls

No sound is heard from the meditative monk

The sound of the mid-day bell makes the people progress

The mountain stands firm in the sound of no sound

Talking to Yourself

Talking to Yourself

NOISE

The Noise calls itself Noise

It claims for itself the CROWN
Yet, the Noise cannot be noise
Without the Silent Way guiding its path

Producer Note:

One of the most excruciating aspects of our lives in the modern world is the level of disruptions that occur all around us. In other words, we live in a conundrum of Noise. We can call Noise anything we want but it always reverts to being Noise. Inputs want to take over our lives, influence the way we value things and guide us through lifestyle choices. Noise feels it is the King of our lives and the ultimate control mechanism of the way we live. We forget that in the hierarchy of thought, the highest level of being is the Silent Way / The Tao / The Essence of Life. Noise always lives underneath the bridge of the Tao and must always follow its path to survive. It ultimately becomes our choice which path to follow.

The Ocean and the Sun

Look at the pretty girl dancing- her hair is so shiny.

I want my hair to be shiny. 

Look at the man with chiseled features;

use the razor he is using. 

It will give you the kind of charm that woman crave.

Women will want you. 

Men will adore you. 

You will be happy. 

You will be empty.

Because it is not about the product, but the feeling they try to convey.

And it is not for your benefit, it is for the benefit of the holders of the company.

We must burn our little boxes. 

We must create dialogue.

We must realize the importance of every moment.

We must turn our boredom to gratitude.

Use your hands, your thoughts, your hunger.

These things are yours and yours alone.

The Sounds of Animals Fighting
Lyrics from their track entitled Uzbekistan

GETTING TO NOTHING ... over coming mind chatter

GETTING TO NOTHING ... over coming mind chatter

Story of Honor - Chicago O'Hare Int'l Airport

Edward O'Hare or better known as "Easy Eddie" was apart of the mob in the late twenties and was most famous for being Al Capone's lawyer. He was trusted by Capone and knew about his tax evasion and ties to the different mafia families. Eddie loved his own family and wanted to set an example for his son; one of truth and honor. To show his son that all you had was your honor and that it was worth everything, including your own life, he testified against Capone and the mob in court. This was a death sentence for him and he was later assassinated.
 
His son, Edward Henry "Butch" O'Hare, grew up knowing his father's sacrifice and the honor he demonstrated in the face of inevitable death. He joined the Navy during WWII and became a pilot in memory of his father's bravery. One night while he was on his aircraft carrier, he noticed a group of Japanese bombers coming towards the carrier armed with torpedoes. The carrier was completely unprepared for the attack and he was one of the only two fighter pilots on the ship. He remembered his father demonstrating to him as a child that his honor was worth the ultimate price. He flew into the array of bombers and proved such skill and bravery that after shooting down a few Japanese fighters, they finally abandoned their attack. He was awarded the Congressional Metal of Honor for his valor.
 
Today, Chicago O'Hare International Airport stands as proof to what can be achieved when you follow your own beliefs and demonstrate honor in the face of ultimate sacrifice.

Poem by Yahia Lababidi

What is to give light must endure burning, a man once said
Another man became the matchstick that set a nation aflame

But fire, and its appetite, cannot be calculated, like freedom

Injustice and desperation make men combustible, like dry wood

When words lose their meaning
and an entire people their voice –
so they can neither laugh nor scream –
death and life begin to taste the same

From Tunis, to Egypt, to Libya to Yemen
the light from a burning man proved catching
 And those with nothing to lose, or offer, but bodies

fanned the embers of their hopes into a blazing dream.


"What is to Give Light" by Yahia Lababidi

Sun Lite

The first stream of light begins to wash away the shadows of the night,
producing images of movement previously unseen;
waking images of a lucid dream.

Good morning. 

Wendell E. Berry - delivers 41st Jefferson Lecture in the Humanities

Wendell E. Berry, noted poet, essayist, novelist, farmer, and conservationist, delivers the 41st Jefferson Lecture in the Humanities, entitled “It All Turns on Affection,” from the Concert Hall of The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts on April 23rd, 2012. Mr. Berry is introduced by Jim Leach, Chairman of The National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH), and preceded by a reading by novelist, short story writer, and fellow Kentuckian Bobbie Anne Mason of Berry’s poem “VI” from his collection Leavings. Please go to http://www.neh.gov/news/2012-jefferson-lecture-wendell-berry for more details and complete video of his Jefferson Lecture. 

The Lion King - Simba's Return

Quick Context:
Simba, the lion in the clip, has ran away from his past and rightful place as king due to the evil tricks of his uncle Scar. Rafiki, the wise elder, wants him to step into his own power and return to save the kingdom from Scar and his destruction. Wisdom in a simple yet effective way; a beautiful cartoon.

James Joyce, "...We walk through ourselves"

'If Socrates leaves his house today he will find the sage seated on his doorstep. If Judas go forth tonight it is to Judas his steps will tend.' Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love, but always meeting ourselves.

-James Joyce from his novel Ulysses

Daily

Pollock

Life becomes a splatter painting. Colors just sprayed across a canvas. It's been building layers and colors all our life. Drops of blue for the sadness due to the death of a cherished family pet. Sprays of green for the freedom of days spent playing in the river and lying in the sun. Each color is unique to the individual. Stepping back, I look at the art I have created. So many colors, so many emotions. Each day is a new piece. Put them side by side; do they look any different? It's both how you live your life and how you are affected by the splatters of others. So, in the end, we're all just creating a giant painting. I wonder what it looks like.

Monster in the Closet

It's frightening to feel the full extent of a negative emotion. There is uncertainty about what will happen once we choose to feel again. Instead of facing it though, we close ourselves off from the emotion to avoid the pain.  Remember when you were young and terrified of the dark? It's uncertainty frightened us; the fear of the unknown. It would paralyze us; even getting up to turn on the light seemed like an unconquerable task. If we got out of bed, what we feared would inevitably get us as we walked the fifteen feet from our bed to the nightlight. So, we'd lay in bed, hoping that we would either be able to muster up the bravery to turn on the light or fall asleep quicker. This same dance would happen again and again, night after night. One night, my mom forgot to turn on my nightlight and I was trapped in the dark. As I lay in bed hoping it would magically turn on again, I did something which I had been so terrified to do; I got up and tiptoed towards the switch and turned it on. A few months later, after repeating this process, I didn't need the light anymore to feel safe. I knew that while there were still things that might be unknown, I would be able to face them. Everyone turns and keeps the light on at some point in their life; it keeps us feeling safe from emotional harm. But, by turning off the light and being brave, you will finally be able to conquer the dark.

Primary Miracles

That the universe exits.

That there is consciousness.

That there is self-reflective consciousness.

That there is cosmic or transcendental consciousness.

Lullaby

Some days you wake up and stay awake. Some days you wake up and fall back to sleep. It's easy to fall asleep. What's difficult is waking up; staying awake when you're so tired.

Spring Day

When a bubble pops, it's either followed by laughter or by sadness. When we are young, we laugh while we pop bubbles; the pure joy of simply popping the bubbles which surround us. Then at a certain age, we get surrounded by a bubble which can be 'popped' by others. "Thanks for popping my bubble!" This usually causes sadness. Be young again and laugh when your bubble pops. It shows you a new direction and helps you realize that you were never stuck in a bubble to being with.

Occupy the Farm - Gill Tract

The urban farm movement is "grounding the good society". Here's a living vision of a social-community seed sprouting in our urban worlds. 

H2O

all life is just this:

molecular arrangements

suspending water 

Subterranean

us: two trees apart

yet, looking much much deeper

our roots intertwine

Lichen

fungus and algae

hug a rock with rainbow tint

in symbiosis

solitude

it's been ten years of solitude. still. now.

Truth and Love

Love and truth go hand in hand. Truth without love can become harsh, even violent. Truth's power tempered by love is nonviolence.

May Day 2012

May Day 2012 by americ

Jungle Vines

Disconnecting from the source hurts. It might help you feel less pain, if that is the goal, but only temporarily. Go ahead; ignore the panther stalking you in the trees. You'll inevitably encounter it when it pounces. Don't you wonder why you get sad when you're alone? You can't do anything to avoid the shadow watching you. There are no pretty animals, foliage, or people around to distract you. Maybe, if you took the cat straight on with knowledge and experience from previous encounters, it wouldn't be as much of a struggle this time around. Don't sabotage yourself; it might be painful to be cut by claws but it hurts a lot more finding out that you could have eventually healed if you had just given yourself the time.

Never Beginning, Never Ending

Ask yourself, "Was I ever not here?" Try to remember the moment you first knew you were here in this life. I doubt if you can. It's a vague wavering memory residing in fantasy. Do your parents know, really know, if they were ever not here? Do you know? Who else could know better than you? What if you're never beginning, never ending? Would you know? From mystery to mystery. 

Great Fall

You are not broken. Working through dark feelings can be crippling, but even in that state, you are not broken. We are not eggs. We might suffer to unimaginable extremes, but we are still not broken. Though, at times, it feels like we need all the kings horses and all the kings men, you never have to be put back together again.

So Fresh and Alive

The Zen artist sits in front of a canvas. Waiting. Letting mind be. Following breaths. Waiting. Suddenly hand and brush meets the canvas. Rapid stocks. Suddenly, a simple vibrant image or calligraphy appears. A hundred years later: thousands of reproductions in museums, books and greeting cards. We say, "It feels so fresh and alive!" 

A Democracy of Geometry

Always falling. Earth is falling through space. Sun is falling. Galaxies are falling. No ground. Only centers. You are a center. It's all turning around you. It's also, all turning around your friends, acquaintances, and the President. How can this be? Look deeper - you will see and know. The truth is that every point can be seen as, and be, center. You are free. A democracy of geometry. 

Buddha

An existential crisis came upon me while in graduate school studying philosophy. I wanted a meaningful life. Academic classes had no real answers. I examined the life of Buddha - who left home searching to go beyond suffering, eventually finding Enlightenment. Buddha's path is beyond a philosophical theory of existence; it's practical guidance based in lived experiences. Buddha went from thought to beyond thought. Inspiration came - my deepest journey began. Life changed and changed again.  

Energy

Energy, a most basic aspect of the physical universe. Energy, also a feeling of spirit, inspiration, and expiration. Minds become confused by complexity. So much to do. We go off center. "Just" get down to it. Pull back in. Touch the infinite-peace that is really You. As pure energy - there's no distinction between matter and spirit. I look out my window -- just before sunrise -- light rays passing through the fog.

Stare at the sky

The "magic hour." When the world seems to sleep. Too early to be day; too late to be night. If you watch the sky as the sun rises, you notice that the stars begin to transform. Though not visible; never disappearing. Then the first colors of morning begin to appear with the first rays of new light. Beautiful, vivid colors splashed across the canvas of infinite potential; the sky. Like drops of a melting ice cream cone on a summers day. When I think of the sunrise, I can see that unique and untouchable pink or the radiant  orange. Though, even before the sun becomes visible or its rays begin to stream through the shadows like a gentle rain warming the earth, a new day has already begun. The moon will always be there, but sleeps soundly knowing that the sun's power will guide us through a different cycle of day. Yes, even the night is apart of the day. We seem to forget that the day isn't just when the sun wakes us but is also when the moon watches over us as we dream. Then the cycle of day changes again as the sun sets and the moon and stars return. This cycle creates life and helps it grow. I was always afraid of these "magic hours." They seemed to be eerie and bring out the darkness inside. But, if you look inside, deep inside, you'll notice that you are still staring at the sky. That unique color, those gentle stars, the soft light of the moon, the powerful sun; they are all inside. You don't need to see the sun come up or the moon go down to realize that it has already become a new day.

Winter

Poem by Richard Pauloo

---

Winter
Wherein lies the texture of the hillside?
What makes great branches break and decay
And sways them through seasons back into the ground?
What sound do leaves make when they die?
They rupture and fall
Like any one of us
We are deciduous
Destined to dance a few cycles of season
Have you stood on the hillside long enough
To hear leaves breathing?
If you are patient enough to listen
You will hear them whisper about their mortality.
When with tremendous sighs
Their veins
Rupture and fall into the hillside
It is nothing to cry about
It is only the winter

Being Late

As meditation instructor, being late to class became a point of instruction. Recorded 2011-11-23.

Your Best Student

A day comes when you notice a student who will do things greater than you. That's a great event in your life. It feels like the beginning and end of your life. The student who exceeds you carries on the great work that was and still is yours. You could retire now - but the teaching-learning must still go on. 

Work as Sacrifice

Do work as sacrifice, not for the sake of one's own ego. Selfless work makes you free and happy. You are out of the way. It happens to be the work you do. Action without attachment to results; action for its own sake. I know this is difficult to imagine. But, try it. Make it your personal psychological, spiritual practice for a while. You'll be living in the joy of the process, in the moment - not living for a result that later must be surpassed as if running on a thread mill. Be free - starting now!

Mind, Heart, and Wisdom

Many people think too much. They live life from their minds - not from their hearts. Heart's path is love. Mind's way is reason. The heart feels, the mind knows. If we unite heart and mind, we develop wisdom. You want to feel but also have the mind's radar that goes beyond feelings to wider views of reality. This leads to a more solid, creative, and complete life.  

Along the Path

As you move along the path the mind becomes more quiet, intuitive, and reality based. Sometimes you're "ahead of yourself". What's this? It's when you are "out there" feeling tempted to "go back" to the old comforting habits. But you know now that: you're living in a new condition being what you always wanted to be. Suddenly you want a cigarette and start to light up. You know that you're going backwards. Do you need that? 

Quiet! Be Still!

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves,
 “Quiet! Be still!” 

Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

Mark 4:39 (NIV)

Our mind can become like a violent storm. At those times, go deep, wake up and straighten up. Go beyond fear and panic by saying to ourselves, "Quiet! Be still". Then diving deep into our own being, where the mind waves are still - like the stillness at the bottom of the ocean despite raging waves on water's  surface. Safe in stillness. 

Eucalyptus Grove

Lose your mind and come to your senses.

Friiz Pearls¹

There's a eucalyptus grove on the UC Berkeley campus. Every semester I take my students there on a march across the campus. It's a march, it's a dialogue. Like the walking philosophers in ancient Athens. Best to visit that Eucalyptus grove in the late afternoon. While we dialogue on truth and justice and the environment, the sun slowly sets down. The day's natural cycle now apparent - light streaming through the trees. How can students "know" the earth if they are always encased in technology's air conditioned classrooms with florescent lights. Just think – to study the environment in a classroom is shear abstraction. Get out of the classroom! Walk outside like the ancients and the aborigines. Feel the earth below, the sky above, and the body breathing and moving. Feel the life all around and within.

1GESTALT THERAPY © Dr. Ian R. Ridgway PhD http://www.myauz.com/ianr/articles/lect12fritz&%20lauraperls07.pdf

A Glimpse

Sometimes
in the middle of the night
or in the daytime
when all is quiet
including the mind
Comes
a glimpse of immortality
between in breath and out breath
between thought and vision
A field of light and love
endless, deep, safe, eternal
Always here
just a breath away

Working With Intense Feelings

How can we handle intense feelings when they take over the mind? Feelings so strong that they have a life of their own. Some of these feelings could be positive, some quite negative. The point is that you have "lost your own mind" and are now occupied, controlled by these feelings. The sense of openness and freedom is lost. What to do? Watch, just watch your feelings while you feel them. They will pass. And, return. And, pass. And, return. We may also have to work out the feelings by talking, writing, and exercise. Walking a fine line between "fanning the flames" and repressing the feelings. Just watch! Keep coming back to center - to the eye of the paradox - where there is peace. The ego steps away along with the feelings. Soon those feelings transform into the deeper insights of wisdom. 

Fear Becoming Love

When the ground gets knocked out

from below us, what do we do?

At some moment, it's apparent

that no solution, no shift is in sight.

So what do you do?

Nothing at all. Just wait.

That's what it's like now.

When the ground gets shaken

deep below -- and you feel a

slow wave of suspended fear

grip you all over; what do you do?

A moment comes. You are lost.

But it's okay. No escape.

Stopping struggle. Surrender. Here

& now. Let it change.

The ground is gone.

It never was there. An old

illusion now exposed by the

free falling through space

feeling. It's fear becoming love.

Lonelier Than Ever

My childhood was spent on a dairy farm in Los Angeles County. Telephones were still luxuries. It was a big deal when we got a four-party line (yes! four households shared the same line). Phone bandwidth was expensive. Only the wealthy had private lines. On Sundays friends and neighbors would drop in on each other unannounced. In those days, existence had a more tangible personal feel to it. Phones became cheap; and the Internet made communication faster and even cheaper. Today we send messages everywhere on Earth at a moment’s notice. But, are we closer now than the neighbors who knocked at each other’s doors on Sunday for a visit? Are we getting more “free time” by flooding each other with more email and cell phone messages? I don’t think so. In fact, I suspect that we are now lonelier and more confused. We think we’re more connected – but spend more time skimming massive quantities of messages and images coming to our computers screens, cell phones, portable audio headsets, televisions, and radios everywhere. Less and less time, do we spend face-to-face with each other.

Gifts of Presence

Juan Mascaro, in his introduction to The Upanishads, wrote: "... our life should perpetually breathe the air of love, since love is the living breath of the soul." Some people positively enhance a room's atmosphere as soon as they walk in. Such people are remembered for the feeling of their presence, not so much what they said. We all create an atmosphere around us. It could be fear, anxiety, joy, love, and more. Our states are shared spontaneously into the world around us; this suggests an ethical dimension to our states of being. Personal growth processes, including meditation, are so important because they provide deep inner feedback on our own states, allowing room for improvement. A most valuable state is simply unqualified presence; the feeling of being-here with full intensity. In simply being present we open ourselves and those around us to being fully alive as-it-is. This the among the greatest of gifts. When you are really here, you help others to arrive here too. Life becomes more abundant. We naturally act with kindness, gratitude and love.

Quiet Lost

Milton's Paradise Lost sings of the Fall from the Garden of Eden. Now, we need a poet of our time to sing of Quiet Lost, the tragedy of lost silence, of a world filled with noisy machines everywhere. Go to a park and every few minutes, a jet will pass above - overwhelming sounds of wind passing through tree leaves and the bird songs. I went to a fancy gourmet food mall. Wonderful food. As I bit into a great tasting morsel, next to me were refrigerators pumping out so much noise that I felt my body and nerves vibrating - along with my digestion going South. I moved to another spot. Just as noisy. It amazes me that that we put up with so much noise! We've trained ourselves not to notice; but, perhaps, it causes dis-ease and disease in our minds and bodies. That is not how we evolved. Rattling machines can be silenced. It's a set of engineering problems that once solved would allow us to again feel and hear ourselves, our planet, our universe.

---

I recommend the interview of Gordon Hempton On The Search For Silence In A Noisy World in the September 2010 issue of The Sun Magazine.

Too Much Communication and Not Much Understanding

There's too much communication & not much understanding. It's easy to pour words and sound bites out into the electronic atmosphere. But who's listening? You? Me? How much can I listen, read, or watch in one day? It becomes easy to neglect one's own mind and deeper truths. To understand is to "stand under" - to get below the surface. This takes time. Time to stand in silence. Time to listen, and allow what-is to disclose itself.

World is Changing

The world is changing. It always changes. So many of my peers in age fear the future. It will not be the same. I was reading this morning about the tragedy of the north American Indians as their cultures become invaded by European cultures. Suffering and death by disease and violence that reflect some our worst images of the future. Indeed, the worst has already happened. Now "we" are here. Hold on for the ride. Nothing new. But, let's do better. No excuses.

New Times

I feel change in the air. It's time to be more informal and spontaneous. To be more ourselves in our personal and public lives. Looking good is not as good as being good. 


Many people feel the world is "on the edge" with uncertainty. I don't know. What we are going through is not new. We're on a small planet now. Lots to learn and change.


Perhaps, these are "New Times". The past ten years many folks felt that this new year - 2012 - will be the moment of a huge paradigm shift. Some thinking it will be an "end of the world scenario". I don't know. Better not to make any year or moment that special. To paraphrase an old rock song: something is happening here, what it is we don't exactly know.  

International Area Studies Meditation Talk

International Area Studies Meditation & Talk (December 9, 2011) by americ

Talk and meditation presented for International Area Studies students at UC Berkeley on December 9, 2011 - a week before semester final exams - the most stressful moment of the semester. Two short five minute meditation sessions were conducted. I aimed to inspire students with an easy method of daily meditation practice: five five-minute sessions spread throughout the day. I call it the Five by five meditation method or just 5x5. Enjoy. 

Two five minute meditations were recorded - which are each abridged to one minute. You may wish to pause and
restart recording at those points, in the spirit of the talk.

Meditation Poetry Slam - Fall 2011

Students of Fall 2011, PACS 94 (Meditation Theory & Practice) at UC Berkeley: presenting their own poems inspired by meditation practice.

Meditation Poetry Slam - November 16, 2011 by americ

Occupy Your Mind

Meditation talk given at UC Berkeley on November 9th, 2011 - the day when the Occupy movement came to campus. Reflections on inner "occupy" in the time of the social "Occupy Wall Street" movement(s).
Occupy Your Mind by americ

This Class Not About Meditation - It is Meditation

Audio recording of meditation talk at University of California, Berkeley. Meditation is not separate from any aspect of life. All of life is infused with the potential of intense presence-at-hand.

This Class Not About Meditation - It is Meditation by americ

Desire Behind All Desire

It's not so important how long you live; but that you realize who you really are before you pass away. In that self-realization is the true goal of life consciousness. The desire behind all desire.

HBO's 'Enlightened' Take On Modern Meditation

This afternoon (1:27 pm, October 10th), I'm listening to the Terry Gross interview of Laura Dern and Mike White on NPR's "Fresh Air". Suddenly, my mind is twisted with the story of a new HBO television show about meditation and enlightenment. The series starts tonight. You will be enlightened!

To hear the interview or read parts of the transcript visit THIS LINK.  

From the program description:

Can people really change? That's the question Laura Dern and Mike White ask in their new HBO series, Enlightened, which premieres Monday night. The show features Dern as Amy Jellicoe, an ambitious executive who has a nervous breakdown at her workplace. She goes to a rehabilitation center in Hawaii, where she experiences an awakening.

When Amy returns home, she wants to put her new philosophy into practice — meditating, communicating better with her mother (Diane Ladd), and fostering a healthier relationship with her ex-husband (Luke Wilson). But she finds her lessons of enlightenment being put to the test.

Show creator Mike White wrote the series and also directed some of the episodes. White and Dern join Fresh Air's Terry Gross for a conversation about Enlightened.

Occupy Wall Street Becoming a Mainstream Dialogue

I've been watching the fast growing "Occupy Wall Street" movement on Twitter and in the mainstream media online. Today (Sunday, October 9th), it emerges as a major news story on CBS's online website. The cat is out of the bag - the "money, wealth, and power" discourse is up for renewal. I'm hoping it's a return to reality and away from ideology. This will take a massive amount of dialogue in all directions; between many kinds of people.

Occupy Wall Street is now a "normative dialogue" (a dialogue about the kinds of society we value) between people on the streets, people at home watching/reading the news, and talking with friends at coffee houses, local markets, workplaces, etc. There are also the measured responses of those with "control" on all sides of the political spectrum. We are facing a profound social-political-economic mystery. All I hope for now is that we all stay nonviolent and be open to deepening dialogue and understanding - open minds, suspending all judgments. Let truth guide us.

Outremer by Fanny Howe

I recently "discovered" a new poet in my life, Fanny Howe while reading Poetry Magazine's September 2011 issue - which published Howe's long prose-like poem, Outremer. Upon reading it three times, I was hooked. Here's video reading of Outremer (a collaboration by Fanny Howe and artist Maceno Senna):


Outremer from Fanny Howe on Vimeo.

"Greed is Good" - Wall Street & Beyond

Years ago I saw the classic 1989 movie: Wall Street. A story of a corporate takeover artist. He took over one company at a time. Small stuff compared the financial engineering that brought down the world's financial system in 2008, followed by global economic depression.

Is greed the real engine of human progress? Given all the current events around the "Occupy Wall Street" protests, let's revisit the "greed is good" speech by the movie's main protagonist: Gorden Gekko (played in 1987 by Michael Douglas). Here are his words in court:



By the way, Gekko did not use the the words "Greed is Good" in the original Wall Street film. Here's a transcript: “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures, the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A."

Nicholas Ashford, MIT Economist re: Occupy Wall Street

The "Occupy Wall Street" protests in New York are growing into a global event. This phenomena questions basic assumptions about money, value, society, and environment. This second week of September 2011, see many main stream news stories emerging. The following extracted from http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2011/1004/Occupy-Wall-Street-flash-in-the-pan-or-beginning-of-a-movement.

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Americans should be prepared to see this movement take hold and spread, says MIT economics professor and lawyer Nicholas Ashford, author of “Technology, Globalization, and Sustainable Development – Transforming the Industrial State: Exploring the Critical Conflicts between Economy, Environment, and Employment.”
It’s not just a matter of people being “mad as hell and not taking it anymore,” he says. “It’s more crucially the dawning realization that the US economy was always built on quicksand, and that our current dismal state is not the anomaly, but the reality.”
“Instead of waiting for the economy to ‘bounce back’ to a previous state of health that was nothing but a sad illusion,” says Professor Ashford, “Washington, Wall Street, and big business need to address a strategy for moving forward from where we are,” not from where they thought we were.

Meditation & the Practice of Law

The Practical Value of Meditation in Law Practice. Talk, guided meditation, and question/answers. Delivered by Charles Halpern, Director, Berkeley Initiative for Mindfulness in Law. (Bolt Law School, University of California, Berkeley). Presented to the 300 students of Americ Azevedo's "Theory and Practice of Meditation" course at UC Berkeley. September 28th, 2011.
Listen/Download   Long quiet guided meditation moments deleted from this audio file.

1 Giant Leap - Trailer for 2nd Film - 2sides2everything

This is a philosophic snapshot of how people around the world feel and think about the "big questions". Indeed, an important enterprise. (Many thanks to Marianne Henry for bring this to my attention.)

Mining Circle Building - Inside View

View from my Engineering Ethics class (Summer 2011).

There's Nothing to Do

What needs to be done?

There's nothing to do.
It's all done.
Move about as you do.
No need to add your concern -
it does not help at all.

Now, how shall we act? Action without attachment to results is best. You know the outcomes, and perform the tasks without grasping. Tasks will happen more precisely, more actions, with more joy, and fulfillment. You are living your life now – rather than in the future.

It passes

There is
That consuming
Desiring part
Empty inside
So wanting to fill up
On things, people, events
What is it?
Genetic instincts
Blindly driving us
To buy, produce, consume
Meaning?
Just tired and hungry
Sit with it
It passes

Another kind of wealth

Barron's: The Dow Jones Business and Financial Weekly published (August 11, 2003) a letter to the editor, in which I wrote the following:

I was delighted with one of your recent cartoons (Mailbag, Aug 4). Two well-fed men are on a commuter train and one says to the other, "All the harping about the rich getting richer; what are they supposed to do?" I propose a basic answer. Don't expect the rich to give away money or have fewer tax breaks. But expect the rich to use their own time wisely, to go deep into the meaning of their own lives, finding the way to real happiness. Those who do so will become different people -- no longer trading the wealth of the human heart and soul for just more material wealth. That would change the world.

Mother Theresa noted that America is a land of spiritual poverty. Everyone, even the poor, have televisions, but poor in spirit. People are valued by the things they have, not their wisdom and spirit. Perfectly intelligent well-off women and men gather to talk about their cars, houses, and things they own or are planning to buy. Often, hiding from themselves, through feigned joy, the feeling that life is meaningless. You are encouraged to spend your life energy getting the right car, right house, right club membership, right clothes, and way of talking - to the point that you forgot that you are, at the bottom, none of these things. Real satisfaction keeps receding into the horizon. Stories are told of people who buy the expensive car, and find a week later they need "something" else to drive them on to achievement.

(+)

Atlantis revisited

It's been said that the Azores Islands are the tip of the lost continent of Atlantis – home to a civilization of the highest technology. The Atlantians, like the citizens of Babel were overpowered by their technology. By divine power or human ingenuity both were brought to total destruction.

The Azores are in the Atlantic ocean about 800 miles east of Europe, in the middle of nowhere, which makes them a stepping stone between North America and Europe. Columbus’ last stop before proceeding to the New World was the Azores Islands. His sailing ships where the high technology of the time.

I was born in the Azores Islands as World War II ended. I immigrated from the Azores to the U.S.A. with my parents at the age of two. As I grew up in America on a farm in Los Angeles County, I fell in love with science and technology. To me it was magic. Happily learning to convert water into hydrogen and oxygen, building a radio transmitter and receiver, looking into the deep sky with a telescope, and creating electricity by moving a magnet through a wound coil of copper wire. I wanted to be a wizard; my magic wand was a pen.

(+)

(Image of Terceira Island, Azores. From Oceandots.com.)

The Wayseer Manifesto

Today, into my world came a gift from a friend*; a YouTube video that speaks to the part of us tuned to Truth, the Way, the Cosmic Order, the Absolute, God, ...

Dare to listen and feel with your heart:

* Marianne Henry

Failing into success

The way up and the way down is the same. Failure and success are two sides of one coin. A duality that is not! No success is lasting, regardless of how solid and powerful it looks. Even the whole universe will run down, will fail. Profound failure can become profound success. Jesus' life work "failed" into becoming the most abiding success in religious history.

Every time I fail, I let myself feel the failure as deeply as possible. A whole new perspective soon arises with rich fields of opportunity. Learn to be thankful for apparent failures -- this flips the perspective. Failure never happens; it's my expectations that failed to match reality at the moment. Change the expectations; look again at what-is with clearer sight. Go on. Live fully.

With what do you buy your money?

With what do we buy our money? Many years ago, I was giving a talk on wisdom in the world. At the end of the talk, I was approached by an old man. He came up to me and said, "I want to ask you a question." I said, "What's that?" He said, "With what do you buy your money?" I thought about it for a minute, and said, "With your life, of course." He said, "You're right, and I wish I had known that when I was much younger. For all my life, I worked for money. I put all my time into working for money that I thought I would enjoy later on." He explained that he just never thought about anything else except working to save money, to put money away, to plan for the future. And the future had arrived, and here he was, an old man. And he expressed that he had a sense of bitterness about that, that he hadn't achieved an earlier understanding about the importance of living life, and that he had indeed bought his money with his life. (+)

Image by Terry Pettengill.

Running like snails

We take jet planes to get somewhere fast, while taking hours to get in and out of airports for a one hour flight. Booking passage, packing, deciding what to take and not take, freeway travel, airport security, weather problems, and the unexpected mechanical problems -- a one hour flight becomes a half-day event. This is "running like snails." Rage is a symptom of running like snails. You see it with commuters on trains and freeways; and, on the internet and in the office.

Freeways ought to move quickly -- everyone gets on them during "rush hour". "Rush hour" could be renamed "running like snails" hour. Fast automotive technology meets congested overcrowded freeways. Road rage flares on freeways as drivers try to move faster. Every year 40,000 people die because of the need to “get there on time”.

Companies now organize around information efficiency for maximum profit. For instance, eliminating contact with "ineffectual" and “expensive” humans, instead providing web pages and interactive voice activated telephone services. Customer satisfaction problems are more difficult to resolve nowadays. No one can hear you scream in cyberspace! Fast internet service does not make us more productive, rather it gives us more distractions along the information superhighway.

Someday we will all learn to just walk like lightening.

My window of time

View out my window of time

People and cars passing by

Meaning is not an issue

Only the Being all around

It is what it is as-it-is

So easy. You know that

someday you'll step off this

life. So accept it in

ways deep inside. So inside

that it's just That.

Breathe into Being

this morning. You and I

are here where we are

Brilliant Discussions

During Kiva Time of Winter 2003, in the Oakland hills, I recorded my good friend Glenn Matson sharing a few thoughts on the Native American Indian practice of brilliant discussions. This practice has profound implications for dialogue in schools and businesses - and with friends.

LISTEN TO "Glenn Matson on Brilliant Discussions" (1397 kb; time 2:00)

Related post:
Brilliant discussion regarding time

Image from painting by George Catlin's Sioux Indian council, Chiefs in Profound Deliberation, 1832–37

Brilliant discussion regarding time

Glenn Matson introduced the idea of brilliant discussions. As we proceeded with our recording session, we moved into a brilliant discussion focused on the the nature of time.

Perhaps, the greatest miracle is the one that creates time. The quality of no-time, no-space is all inclusive. Time might not be real. We became almost speechless. The mind and soul are drawn to deeper levels.

LISTEN TO "Glenn Matson & Americ Azevedo in a brilliant discussion on time" (4002 KB; time 5:41)

Related post:
Brilliant Discussions

Image from Corbis.com online catalogue.

Sierras Wander

My friend, Glen, took a long, long hike in the High Sierras. He's his report, complete with text, pictures, and video:

http://sierraswandern.blogspot.com/2011/01/high-route-recap.html

Enjoy!

Science & Wonder-The desire to know and the power of imagination